Six Months In – So Far, So Good

(Copyright 2008 by Valentine J. Brkich. First printed in the May 2008 edition of The Point magazine, Wexford, Pa.)

Some companies put you on a six-month probationary period when they hire you, just to make sure you’re the right person for the job. Recently, my wife and I hit the six-month mark as first-time parents. It’s been a real challenge at times, but I think we’ve passed the test, thus far.

I thought it would be interesting to look back and review the changes that have occurred – both with my wife and me, and also our baby – over the last half year. So here it is...my official parenthood six-month report.

First, let’s review my daughter’s progress:

• In her first six months of life, she’s nearly doubled her weight. They tell me this is a good thing; I just hope, for her sake, that this trend doesn’t continue for the rest of her life.
• She also has less hair now than she did when she was born, with hardly anything on the sides and the bulk of it being on the top of her head. She sort of looks like George McFly from Back to the Future. A cute George McFly, that is.
• She now sleeps through the night consistently, unlike the first few months when a two-hour stretch was a treat. My wife and I refer to that time as “The Zombie Days.”
• Now that she’s eating rice cereal and other baby foods, my daughter’s bowel movements have taken a sudden turn for the worse. Of course, we knew this was inevitable; but I guess you’re never really ready for it.
• And finally, my daughter can now hold her head up under her own power and, with every passing day, looks less and less like a bobble-head.

Now let’s review the changes in Mommy and Daddy over the past six months:

• We no longer go running to the nursery at the slightest noise or cry; now, we just turn off the baby monitor. We get more sleep that way.
• Now, when I hold my daughter, I no longer feel incredibly nervous like I’m holding a priceless vase from the Ming Dynasty.
• It now takes me less than 30 seconds to change a diaper as opposed to 5–10 minutes. I could be a member of the NASCAR diaper-changing pit crew.
• Our sleeping time has increased and, consequently, our brains are almost fully functional again, which is nice.
• I, personally, have overcome my fear of bodily fluids.
• And finally, I’ve given up on having a clean house ever again. It’s just not going to happen.

So, there you have it – my official parenthood six-month report. I’d give us a B+ grade so far, with an A for effort. I’ve heard that things get a little more interesting once the baby begins to move on her own. If that’s the case, I have a feeling that my 12-month report may be a tad more chaotic.

Valentine J. Brkich is a freelance writer and a rookie daddy. If you have any comments or words of wisdom for him, e-mail him at val@brkichwriting.com.