(Copyright 2009 by Valentine J. Brkich. First printed in the May 2009 edition of The Point North Magazine, Wexford, Pa.)I’ve always wanted to speak a second language. I took three years of Spanish in high school and another in college. Yet, even with four years of schooling, I’m still limited to just a few phrases:
“Me llamo Val” (My name is Val)
“Donde esta la biblioteca?” (Where is the library?)
“Feliz Navidad!” (Merry Christmas!)
Unfortunately, these phrases aren’t very useful unless it’s Christmas day and I’m looking for a library in Mexico…or Miami.
Recently, I’ve been learning a brand new language: baby-talk. Over the past few months my daughter has been gradually increasing her vocabulary, and, as a result, she is getting better at communicating her needs to us. When I say “vocabulary,” however, I’m not necessarily talking about actual English words as you and I know them. Hers is a hybrid language of sorts—one part English and one part jibberish.
Sometimes it’s easy to understand her. Words, like “eat” and “play,” come out clear and phonetically correct. Other words, however, are not as understandable, and it took some time for us to be able to first identify and then translate them.
For example, “waah,” as we have come to learn, means “rag” and refers to the cloth diaper my daughter sleeps with. When she says “why,” she’s not asking a question; rather, she’s asking for “water.” And the confusion doesn’t end here.
One of my daughter’s unique linguistic traits is that she likes to add the “uh” sound before a lot of her words, while putting the emphasis on the latter half. For example: “uh-EAT,” “uh-PLAY,” “uh POOPOO,” etc. Sometimes she even puts an “uh” sound at the end of the word, which makes her sound somewhat Italian, i.e., “uh-WOK-uh,” meaning “Put me down; I want to walk.”
Here’s a little sampling of some of her other phrases and their meanings:
uh-MALK-uh = I want my milk.
uh-DUCK-uh = It is dark.
uh-MAN-uh = I want a banana.
uh-SEAT-uh = Sit down.
shoosh = shoes
moe = more
uh oh = I’ve spilled something (most likely on purpose)
aw doe = All done = Get me out of this highchair or I’ll start
throwing food all over the place!
Each night, right before bedtime, she’ll quickly run through several of these phrases in a last-ditch effort to avoid going to sleep. (“Uh-EAT! Uh-MALK-uh! Uh-PLAY! Uh-EAT!!)
I used to listen to other babies babble incoherently and wonder at the ability of their parents to translate what they were saying. Now I have this same superpower, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately, I also now find myself speaking back to my daughter in a bizarre, third-person dialect that makes me sound a little like a cave man:
“Daddy love you!”
“Bad girl! You listen to Daddy. Daddy mad!”
“Shhh! Mommy tired. Mommy sleepy.”
“No, no…no touch…Daddy’s wine…NO TOUCH!”
It’s not so bad talking like this at home, but out in public it can be a little embarrassing. I just wonder how long I’ll continue to talk like this. (“Daddy no like your boyfriend. Boyfriend have mustache. Where Daddy’s wine?”)
So maybe the four years I spent studying Spanish were all for naught. That’s okay. It’s not like I’ve put all those years of studying advanced mathematics to use, either. Besides, I can now count baby-talk as my official second language.
Although I don’t think it will do much for me on my resume.
